I am committed to the idea of Pusha T becoming the CEO of Manchester United
Favourite United player: Paul Scholes.
Favourite current United player: Marcus Rashford. Any United fan who doesn’t give this response, I immediately suspect them of treason.
What advice would you give Jose Mourinho: Don’t listen to weird strangers over the internet, Mr. Jose.
Favourite United Goal: Ronaldo’s 2nd at the Emirates in the 2009 CL semi. Just a sublime counterattacking goal from Sir Alex’s most accomplished side.
Where will United finish this season: 1st, because I say this every year. Yes, I even did this under Moyes.
Best United side: Schmeichel; G.Neville, Rio, Stam, Evra; Beckham, Keane, Scholes, Ronaldo; Cantona, Van Nistelrooy.
Player you’d like to see at Old Trafford: Patrice Evra. This isn’t really a footballing decision (although he is still reasonably good at footballing), I just miss him so much.
Who will finish top scorer at United: Roone… bahahaha no. Obviously Zlatan, barring some horrific accident/injury/bust-up/mid-season Zlatan decision to become a full-time martial arts instructor. I just realised how many Zlatan + Martial martial arts puns are possible and I apologise in advance.