Neymar, Berbatov & Robin van Persie: United Shorts

United shorts

Neymar, Dimitar Berbabtov and that Robin van Persie penalty all discussed in United shorts

Author: Stretford_End

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Having scoured the Internet all lunch for an image Bryan Robson in a pair of tight fitting Manchester United shorts, I’m very pleased to present this brand new feature entitled United shorts. The blog will run every Thursday afternoon and host a collection of stories from the previous week, whether they be transfer related, funny or newsworthy. Robbo’s budgie smugglers will remain consistent throughout.


5th September
According to The Sun, Manchester United made an amazing last ditch transfer deadline day swoop to buy the Brazilian wonderkid from Santos. Not content with having Rooney, van Persie, Welbeck and Hernandez as a strike force, Ferguson was apparently still keen to add another striker. There is no doubt United still rely heavily on the genius that is Paul Scholes, who made a significant different in the 3-2 victory over Southampton at the weekend, so it is odd that another world class striker was targeted.

Lucas Moura went for £35million to PSG, so why would Santos agree to sell their most prized asset and potential footballing great for £38million when they’ve quoted £90million in the past to Real Madrid?

Paper talk or something in it?

Dimitar Berbatov

3rd September
According to The Guardian, Dimitar Berbatov lost respect for Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson and didn’t say goodbye to his former manager following his departure to Fulham on transfer deadline day. The Bulgarian said he had a number of meetings with Sir Alex, who informed him that he was still an important part of the side following the 2011 Champions League final when he was dropped from the final squad. He states that Ferguson wanted to move to a more direct quick style, which is the total opposite of what Berbatov is all about. For the life of me, I can’t see why United didn’t offload him at the end of the 2010/11 season and why Dimitar Berbatov didn’t want to leave then?

Is Berbatov bitter or right about Ferguson?

And the worst penalty in the world goes to…..

29th August 2012
Ladies and Gentlemen, Robin van Persie’s comical penalty was bad, but as bad as this one?-

van Persie may have missed, but he went on to score a superb hattrick – this Brazilian lad dumped his club Udinese out of the Champions League following his limp attempt. Brazilian? I’m not so sure.

Corners!? We never score from corners

2nd September 2012
Despite now not being able to get headed goals from corners out of my head, most noticeably that header in Turin, Paddy Crerand seemed to think that we never score from corners, a mere 8.5 seconds before van Persie’s late winner:

As United win the corner:

Stewart Gardner: “Is there time left for United? Van Persie’s ball in looking for Chicharito. Corner kick, now then…”

Paddy Crerand: “We don’t score from corners do we?”

SG: “There’s always a first time… Nani takes, in it comes, oooooh it’s in. On Sir Alex Ferguson’s 1000th league game in charge of United his side produce a trademark comeback. Van Persie scores a hat-trick, it’s Southampton two, United three”

PC: “Will we forgive him for the penalty? That’s a tremendous header, never write United off. This is a great header from Van Persie, great header. I just said a second ago we never score from corners! Well we don’t usually, do we?”

Transfer deadline day

31st August 2012
Laughing at your own jokes is pretty sad, although many of you liked our analogy regarding transfer deadline day and that Saturday 1:50am scramble for some female attention:

Thanks for the Retweets, we’re here all week.

Michael Owen

4th September
According to The Telegraph, Michael Owen has signed a twelve month deal with Stoke City. Owen will be remembered for that last gasp goal in the 4-3 victory over Manchester City in 2009, however his unsurprising injury record and tweets about his dog’s diarrhoea frustrated many reds. Interestingly, eight of Owen’s last twenty four league goals have come via his head! So, Stoke City fans can look forward to some juggernaut style headers from big Michael Owen. He could make his debut against Manchester City next week – hopefully having the same impact as the 2009 fixture!

Was Ferguson right to let Owen go? Should he have been signed in the first place?

4 Comments on Neymar, Berbatov & Robin van Persie: United Shorts

  1. Playing Danny Welbeck ahead of Berbs was reprehensible. No touch, no dribbling, no passing, no shooting, just a nice smile and aimless running around.

    The middle is not up to cup-winning standard. Apparently Nani and Young no longer go by people or cross with any accuracy. Cleverly runs around screaming for the ball and then doing nothing with it. Carrick is strictly Mr. Side’n back. Thank the Lord Scholes felt duty bound to unretire and save them.

    Since a player, such as Dembele, who ignored United defenders on his way the box, was not acquired, how about Tony V in the middle? Cleverly can take notes for a bit longer. Need a driving force inside and the wingers to create some consistent problems.

    If not, the offense with stall whether Fergus buys additional forwards or not.

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