Premiership abroad?
In the light of the recent revelations of the proposal for a 39 game season, where each Premier League side would face a randomly selected same division opponent overseas for seemingly no other reason than financial, here are 20 similar minded proposals (one for each club) that the Premier League may like to consider.
1. Given that money is the all important factor and not fairness and reputation of the league, why not make it obligatory that games played on foreign soil must field a player from that nations side on each team. That player must start the game and in the case of two clubs wanting the same player, they will operate much the same as a normal transfer, with a percentage of the fee going to the Premier League (hereafter the PL), the host nations FA, and probably Kia Joorabchian. This will maintain interest the host nation in a potential mid table clash between Birmingham and Reading, (no offence to fans of either side).
2. Let's face it, the potential for advertising is huge. So the PL should quite rightly insist that upon gaining promotion from the Championship, and as a pre-requisite for participating in the PL, the team must negotiate a sponsorship deal so that their teamname is changed to incorporate it - this will be mutually beneficial for both club and brand. Think "The Middlesbrough Burger Kings", "Manchester United with Disney", "Liverpool DIC". Wink, wink.
3. Ad breaks. It's a no-brainer. Who hasn't sat nervously, holding on for the loo while your team defends an important penalty or free kick? Those days are a thing of the past - this will make the game much more accessible for armchair fans, which will be handy if you're at home watching your side in their foreign game instead of at the ground.
4. Compulsory player appearances in the overseas games. Imagine you pay £40, $80US, $95CAN or $100AUS (sorry if the exchange rate is wrong) to see Chelsea play Fulham, all intent on seeing Didier Drogba, and the referee in the previous game has sent him off, ruling him out!!! Well, rule out suspensions, because everybody wants to see the best players play, and of course, it wouldn't be fair to those fans.
5. Ticket prices must go up for those games domestically. This will be justified by "Well, the money for the airfares has to come somewhere". And they are right. Of course they are. The estimated £10m per game each club should reportedly be set to make will conveniently not be mentioned in letters to season ticket holders of anywhere from 5 to 50 years.
6. Of course the price of a season ticket will now go up around £1,500 on average, but the plus side of this is a guaranteed seat at one of the overseas games if the club don't sell out their allocation. In reality, this is a bargain.
7. In the interest of fairplay, in the event that a team in the 38 domestic games would win the title by a single point, but in the game played overseas, the fixture list had played the (domestically) 2nd placed side against a side that were 10th in midseason at the time of the game, but lost every single game since then and finished rock bottom, and they drew while the team that domestically would finish 1st lost a side that at the time of the overseas game was 6th but ended up 3rd, obviously the fixture list was fair at the time so the side that would finish the season in 2nd using the domestic fixtures would quite rightly win the league. My congratulations if you managed to follow it. I'm not sure I did.
8. Likewise but reversed for teams battling relegation.
9. Work Permits will become a thing of the past because the technicalities of it would be rendered meaningless (perfect example, clubs will no longer need to farm out players to foreign clubs to become EU residents - how can they, when the sport isn't played solely in one country). As a direct result, Wenger and Benitez et al will successfully campaign for the end of any kind of immigration law, and Britain will gloriously bask in the undoubted success of the consequences.
10. In a further amendment to points 7 and 8, perhaps to increase attendances, interest and intention from players and managers, points gained overseas will be 5 for a win and 1 for each additional goal play that is converted. This has benefits as the concerns for 7 and 8 will be rendered irrelevant.
11. It's a game for the fans right? Well, why not run a competition for each fan to bid for his right to participate in a PL game? What could be more thrilling?! This will only operate on a home game basis, to eliminate unfair home advantage against the away side. All the money from the successful bidder of course will go directly to Scud.. I mean, the struggling PL.
12. At the end of every drawn game, let's liven things up, a penalty shoot out. Now whoever loses the shoot out doesn't lose the game, but whoever wins it will achieve 3 extra points to their tally. The Premier League can fairly argue that given the national sides recent history with this, this rule is a helpful thing for the game as a whole. And it will propel points tallies to an all new high, wowing fans.
13. As football is a global game, from 2012-13 and the undoubted success the original idea will have gained, why not relegate an extra club and then instead of promoting another from the Championship, invite a club from another nation to play a season in our game? If that team manages to win the PL, they will win the right to play another season, and the bottom finishing PL club will participate in a "student exchange" style programme in the newly crowned Champions home country.
14. As the game grows and more players become individually sponsored, so problems will arise when considering rights and broadcasting issues. Imagine Cristiano Ronaldo is wearing Nike boots and United are still sponsored by Nike, but they're playing against Sunderland in New York, on an American station that is affiliated only with Adidas. There's such a simple solution that has been tested. Pro Evolution Soccer has been one of the most successful selling games ever right? All they do is change the names! So said American channel will be only too happy to screen Manchester Reds with Rolando. It may seem ludicrous, but not so. Teams can sell a second set of shirts with their altered name, and with their players altered names on! Twice the money (but as this was the PL's idea, and the PL needs the money, a 60% comission will understandably be taken).
15. The top clubs may argue that this extra game and all the extra travel will hinder their chances in the CL (especially if a side has won the CL the previous season and has had to fly to Tokyo for the CWC the month before). Again, obvious solution. Restructure the FA Cup. All teams competing in European competition will enter at the 5th round stage, save for the CL contenders who will have to forfeit the competition. The benefits being fresher players and the "rekindling the magic" of the FA Cup!
16. Eventually after much debate the idea will become such a success that major networks will start bidding for particular games, and the PL, always open to any new ideas that will benefit the game and not their own bulging pockets, will "explore the idea" of letting the major championship deciding games be played abroad. Disgruntled domestic season ticket holders will be told that they had the option at the start of the season to enter a raffle to win the chance to buy a ticket, but they will be rewarded with 10% off the clubs next home League Cup tie.
17. The effects on global warming with all these extra flights will be minimized by each PL team endorsing a "blue bin" campaign.
18. Pascal Chimbonda will force through his move to Newcastle in the summer, insisting on a European appearance bonus in his contract after the side take on Liverpool at the Helsinki National Stadium. In a landmark case he will force a ruling that commits every club playing their player in an overseas game at a European venue to pay any player they agreed to pay for each appearance in Europe. This will be backdated, forcing Leeds, who had just won promotion and achieved financial stability, to go bust once more, get deducted 10 points, and forced to play in Qatar after a Qatar SC side captained by the legendary Djemba-Djemba won the PL under rule 13.
19. When it becomes clear that despite prostituting their game in the most disrespectful way possible, stadiums in the US will still end up half empty as fans do not want to attend the Wigan Warlords taking on the Reading Redskins, and that Sky's new Pounds for Premiership package, an exclusive £21 per game, does not entice hardcore or casual fans out of bed at 2am, fans domestically will see their season ticket prices rise by an average of £3,000. It's their own fault, after all, if no-one is prepared to support this wonderful idea, where else will the money come from?
20. All games will be subject to exclusive overseas Television coverage, so that means no Motty and Lawro on terrestrial.. oh well, every cloud..!
Source:(Yolkie)